Koyomi Vs Takino: Battle Royale
by Hwikek
Summary: When Takino pushes Mizuhara too far, like usual, how can it involve Minamo, Smash Bros., and a song no one remembers?


"Yomi," said Tomo.

"Tomo," said Minamo.

"Hi," said Chiyo.

"Hello," said Minamo.

"What's up?" asked Takino.

"Not much," said the eleven year old wannabe gangster…I'm sorry that's Riley Freeman, not Chiyo Mihama.

"Have you seen Yomi?" asked Tomo.

"She's right behind you, with the demon of the flashlight!"

"AHH!"

"She's so stupid," said Kagura as Tomo ran off, "Who would seriously believe in 'the demon of the flashlight'?"

"Hey," said Yomi, "What happened?"

"I scared Yomi," said Osaka as Yomi jumped. "Why did you do that? I followed you from the bathroom."  
"That's probably what did it," said Tomo.

"Tomo," said Yomi.

"Yomi," said Tomo.

"What the f…."

"Now, now," said Minamo, "We don't need to say those things in front of Chiyo."  
"I bet I could run faster than you, Yomi."

"No you couldn't," said Kaorin.

"Yes I can," said Tomo.

"I can," said Kagura, "I can pretty much ran faster than anybody."

"No you can't," said Yomi.

"I can beat an Olympian…possibly."

"Stupid Yomi," said Tomo, "You distributed an exponent into a binomial."

"Anyone could have made that mistake!" said Yomi.

"Your face made that mistake," said Tomo.

Yomi lunged at Tomo with the intent to kill, and if Minamo hadn't been there it might have worked. Yomi felt bad though, she had let such a stupid comeback get to her. What would her creative writing teacher say? Then again it was Yukari, so she probably wouldn't say anything.

"Yomi," said Minamo, "What on Earth made you attack Tomo?"

"Well she's always so mean to me," Yomi whined, "And then she called me stupid and—"

"I bet I could beat you in Firefight!" said Tomo.

"You idiot," said Kagura, "You don't beat other players in Firefight, that's Slayer."

"Shut your mouth!" screamed Tomo.

"How about we do Wii instead?" asked Minamo.

"Why would we do that?"

"No reason," said Minamo, who was secretly a spokesperson for Nintendo. The company was trying to show that it accepted alternate lifestyles and Minamo's, well…you know unf—able. Which means she will never get laid…or is that Yomi?

"Sound's like a plan," said Yomi, "I love playing Smash Bros."

Minamo mentally scribbled that down. _Must meet my quota_, she thought to herself, _I can't fail two months in a row!_

"_Falcon, Pahnch!_"

"Oh my god, Tomo; you're retarded."

"Shut your mouth!"

"You're never gonna beat her by just constantly spamming Falcon Punches," said Kagura, "You should have picked Snake."

"And why is that?"

"Ch-ch, now!" said the swimmer.

"Oh yeah," said Tomo, "That would have been a better idea."

_People like_, Minamo thought to herself, _to spam ranged attacks... I need to get this information to marketing._ Minamo looked up, the game had ended.

"Damn it!" said Tomo, "Rematch!"

"This is the fifth rematch you've called for!" said Kagura.

"Don't make me tell them what we did last summer!" said Tomo.

"I didn't even know you were alive last summer!"

"Oh you knew," said Tomo, "If you know what I mean."

"Rematch accepted," said Yomi, "Who are you going to play as now?"

"Pit!"

"Pit?"

"Oh yeah," said Tomo, "Kagura gave me an awesome idea!"  
"Damn it Tomo," said Yomi, "Will you quit hitting the frigging 1?"

"Never!" said Tomo as blue arrows flew across the screen.

"This is so annoying."

_People don't liked being spammed with attacks_, thought Minamo,_ but people like spamming attacks... I think this might be a difficult issue to resolve._ The over twenty five year old didn't know what to do.

"Oh no!" said Tomo as a Smash Ball appeared.

As the two continued to fight, Minamo took out her iPhone. She opened the YouTube app and looked for…the song. It didn't take her long to find it.

"_Dun, dun. We've been over this before. And I'm sensing you want more. I don't need someone who com-pli-cates me. And it's not that I don't care, but there's some things I can't share. Girl I told you I'm not there..._"

"What's that song?" asked Kagura.

"It's 'the song,'" said Minamo.

"Who is it by?"

"I don't know."

Tomo looked at Yomi.

"_Girl the world's been done on me. I don't need someone to hold me. Girl a lover is all I need. I'm the one who needs to hold me!_"

"_Since I met you I've been hearing the same thing. And it seems it's all we talk about late-ly. So before you go out on a limb, don't tell me it's love._"

"Yomi," said Tomo.

"Huh?"

"_It's that look in your eyes that intrigues me. And the things that you do to amaze me-h! So before you go saying you love me, don't tell me it's so-o!_"  
"I'm sorry."

"Why do I have this creepy feeling?" asked Yomi as Tomo stared at Mizuhara.

"It's from the demon of the flashlight!"

"Gah!" screamed Yomi as she raced out of the apartment.

"How does that continue to scare people?" asked Kagura, "I've done it since January!"

"Hey Kagura," said Yomi.

"What?"  
"Why don't you run, from the haunted chainsaw!"  
"That didn't even work on Chiyo," said Kagura, "No one would fall for that."

"I think that I can do a pretty good impression of a chainsaw," said Yomi.

"You _do not_ sound like a chainsaw."

"_What I'm offerin's what you see. I'm givin' you my honesty. And I'm sorry if it hurts to hear the truth... Maybe I will find in time, that all along girl you were right. That I should have made you mine._

"_But for now I still believe, that I don't need someone to hold me. Just a lover is all I need. Not someone who's gonna hold me._"

"Hey Coach?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you have this song?"

"Yukari was getting too clingy."

"Wait, what?"

"_Since I met you I've been hearing the same thing. And it seems it's all we talk about late-ly. So before you go out on a limb, don't tell me it's love._ _It's that look in your eyes that intrigues me. And the things that you do to amaze me-h! So before you go saying you love me, don't tell me it's so-o!_"

"Yomi," said Tomo, "Here's that money I borrowed from you."

"Aww…," said Minamo and Kagura.

"Gee thanks, Tomo," said Yomi, "But what's with this sudden change of heart?"

"Well after hearing that song—"

"You're gay?" asked everyone.

"No."

"Then why did you mention the song?"

"It was about friendship right?"  
"No," said Kagura, "It's about…'love.'"

"'Love?'" asked Tomo, "That's so gross!"


End file.
